By Sarah Morton

ere’s RED’s exclusive pirated version of Teen Maxim’s exclusive interview with the lead singer of SlyNkin 141.

RED: So what is it like being a punk-rock superstar?

SlyNkin 141: First of all, I just want to say that being a punk rock superstar is not as easy as it looks. Everyone is always talking about how tough Avril Lavigne is. But no one ever says that I’m tough. And I could totally kick Avril’s skinny tie-wearing ass.

RED: What’s the easiest part of your job?

S141: Like, writing the songs. Do you have any idea how many words rhyme with tail? 52! And some of my songs come from really difficult times in my life. Like the song “Hole.” I wrote that after this time I got mad at my brother for breaking my Nintendo and I punched a hole in the wall. But I don’t write all the songs. Sometimes I do what is called a cover. That’s when I take a song I really like and give it a whole new meaning. Like, I’ll add “oh yeah” or “oh baby” to a line or something. Like my remake of Will Smith’s “Gettin Jiggy Wit it.” I sing “Na na na na na na na na na na na na na fuckin’ jiggy wit it.” I hope they start playing that video on TRL really soon because I want everyone to know that I’m a real artist. I got the tattoo that says so, just for the shoot. Making that video was hell. We had to double tape my Speedo so it wouldn’t ride up my butt.

RED: There are rumors that your band has threatened to walk out on you. Is this true?

S141: I assure you that is completely untrue. SlyNkin 141 are like brothers and they better remember that. There’s no room for rock stars in this band.
RED: How do you respond to fans who say that you’ve sold out?

S141: I say that is totally unfair. For instance, nobody would say that a plumber is selling out if instead of plumbing in trailer parks he starts plumbing in mansions. Now, what if instead of living in a trailer park, I start living in a mansion. Is that selling out? Hell no!

I think those fans just don’t understand the level that my music has risen to. I’m 22 now, and I think I’m at a place in my life where I just don’t have the same concerns as a 21-year-old. But I’m always trying to give back to my ’hood. Next month we’re doing a reunion concert at my high school. My agent said “No way.” But I said, “No, dude, it’s cool. If we do it after class is out, we can charge $45, general admission. Plus merch.” We’ve a new line of SlyNkin 141 bumper stickers, party hats and dildos that are also available on our Web site, slynkin141.com.

RED: What are your plans for your next album?

S141: I really want to strive past the confines of punk pop. I learned a new chord yesterday.

RED: Do you think that your unique religious background adds depth to your music?

S141: Huh? No. Oh, wait, you mean the Mormon thing. No.
smorton@red-mag.com