Thursday April 3
S.L.A.J.O.
The Salt Lake Alternative Jazz Orchestra is a 12-piece big band that plays its own innovative charts in an effort to make big band accessible to audiences who typically listen to popular music. They should not be missed—go see them play the Urban Lounge 241 S. 500 East.

Pinback
According to ticket distributors, the melodic pop-rock group from San Diego, Pinback, will play a sold-out show at Club X-Scape, 115 S. West Temple, so Jamie suggests that if you don’t have a ticket, you should storm the gates like they did in WoodStock, the original one—but don’t incite violence because then RED will get in trouble and nobody wants that, except for the Christian Right, The LDS Church, Jasyn Jones, The Daily Utah Chronicle and the Bush administration.

Friday April 4
Do you haiku in the blue?
Jazz and classical fusion band Blue Haiku play with the folky Gina French at the South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society, 6876 S. Highland Drive. The show starts at  7:30. p.m. and will cost $5. Call 278-0332 and yes, coolers are welcome.

What is the deal with…?
Stand-up comedian Jerry Seinfeld brings his observational humor to Abravanel Hall. Hopefully it will be more like his TV series than the crappy documentary in which he complains about how hard it is to be filthy rich. Call ArtTix or something for tickets, 355-ARTS.

Midnight Movie: “Biggie and Tupac”
This week’s Midnight Movie is the second installment of what RED is calling the Nick Broomfield Fortnight. “Biggie and Tupac” explores the unanswered questions surrounding the deaths of rap stars Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls in a documentary format. While Broomfield’s style is somewhat quirky and can be comical at times, he manages to interview key people and ask them really tough questions. He dispels the myth that the deaths of the two rap stars resulted from the East Coast/West Coast hip-hop rivalry and explores the lack of attention to Biggie's death on behalf of the LAPD as well as the police’s corruption and involvement with the Bloods gang. Part of the Tower Theatre’s (876 E. 900 South) Midnight Movie Series’s Music at Midnight month, every Friday and Saturday at around 11:59 p.m.

Saturday April 5
Can you believe Bon Jovi is still around, and that the Goo Goo Dolls actually have a record contract? Go see them play at the Delta Center, 100 S. 300 West, but make sure to wear really tight stone-washed jeans and feather your hair out.

Sunday April 6
Film Front: “Songs from the Second Floor”
Roy Andersson’s “Songs from the Second Floor,” inspired by the poems of Caesar Vallejo, has been hailed a strange and beautiful film reminiscent of directors like Buster Keaton, Werner Herzog and Michelangelo Antonioni. Since this is the film’s Salt Lake City debut, RED can’t confirm or deny these claims. Part of the University of Utah’s Film Front, every Sunday at 7:00 in the Orson Spencer Hall auditorium, next door to the Union building.

Monday April 7
Drink of the Week
[Editor’s Note: Holy shit, this is a lot of liquor for one drink. Please be careful with this one, thanks.]
Good Till The Last Drop
Ingredients:
8 oz Bacardi Limon Rum
2 shots Grenadine
3 oz Ginger Ale
Instructions: Serve in a big glass with lots of ice, stir and garnish with a marchino cherry.
Non-Alcoholic version:
Use diluted and filtered lemonade instead of rum and double up on the cherries.

Tuesday April 8
Vegan Vampires?
A.F.I.’s lead singer Davey Havoc set a fire inside of art writer Autumn Thatcher with a knockout combo of hotness, gayness and veganness. So wouldn’t it be hard to remain undead if all you eat is veggies? According to Jamie, A.F.I. is a hardcore punk band but Havoc is neither punk nor goth—discuss. Blood Brothers and The Explosion also play. Go to Brick’s, 579 W. 200 South is the address, 328-0255 is the number to call for additional information.

Wednesday April 9
Taking Back Sunday is good, but the singer is kind of whiny, but that’s OK. From Autumn To Ashes will play too, so will My Chemical Romance and let’s not forget about Recover. Recover’s press photo shows the members with a bunch of women—whose bodies are painted purple to make them look dead—wearing nothing but bikini thongs. Go to X-Scape 115 S. West Temple and ask them what’s up with their creepy press photo.

Correction: In last week’s RED Herring, we quoted John Ashcroft as saying that Bush was sad since Satan stopped showing up to his coke-and-gin parties but our copy editor Danyelle thought that coke was in reference to the soft drink Coca Cola when we were actually referring to the powdery white derivative from the cocoa leaf that Bush enjoyed as an indiscrete “youth.”