irst, a confession: Everything we’ve told you this year, up to and including this very statement, has been a lie. We shan’t bore you with the whodunwhats or the whathaveyous, but suffice it to say that you are looking at a new RED—a RED that’s all about giving, a RED that’s all about you, dear, sweet reader, and your general well-being.

In that light, we present our [Brent’s] early holiday gift to you: 20 albums so underground, we don’t even know about them (well, most of them anyway). But they’re so thoroughly good that even taking in just one of them will be sure to make this a happy holiday season for you and yours.

[P.S. Our gift is to tell you about them. You still have to buy them for yourselves. Happy Winter Break!]

1. Broken Social Scene: You Forgot It in People
Simply: Wow. An eclectic mix channeling the best moments of U2, Sonic Youth and Pink Floyd—there’s something for everyone here. It will make you whole.

2. Belle and Sebastian: Dear Catastrophe Waitress
For anyone who’s ever been in love with a co-worker, cheered on the New York Mets, gotten beat up at school or never quite grown out of the ’70s. Sassy. Very sassy. (A full-length review is available via the archives at www.red-mag.com.)

3. Out Hud: S.T.R.E.E.T. D.A.D
The side project of half the male members of dance-punk troupe!!! (Chk Chk Chk, pronounced by clicking your tongue three times) + 2 human girls + 1 drum machine named Phyllis = futuristic dance craze 2003! This is a perfect album in its genre.

4. Viktor Vaughn (aka MF Doom): Vaudeville Villain
It’s hip-hop for white people, playfully self-conscious and streetwise, referencing everything from “Star Trek” to Dan Aykroyd. V. Vaughn: demolishing the genre, one rhyme at a time.

5. Menomena: I Am the Fun Blame Monster!
Visit the textured mellow indie band’s bizarre Web site now (www.menomena.com)! Don’t know how to read? Just buy it already at www.cdbaby.com. Now! Now! Now!

6. Super Furry Animals: Phantom Power
The hard-working Welsh band puts out their most consistent effort yet, and they even released it on DVD with 5.1 surround sound, loads of remixes and plenty of crazy artwork for just a few bucks more than the CD. Why? Because they love you.

7. Manitoba: Up in Flames
What? Dan Snaith recorded this in his bedroom? Sounds more like it was recorded at the earth’s core. Think Ewok Village. Think Fourth of July. It’s never felt this good to burn.

8. Cyann & Ben: Spring
This French band’s first album already displays mastery of the craft set out by its mentors—Sigur Rós, Flying Saucer Attack, Low and Wish You Were Here-era Pink Floyd. Find it at www.gooom.com.

9. The Rapture: Echoes
Makin’ the dancing fashionable again like no other punk band since Gang of Four. (Unless you count those guys that did the “Macarena.” I do not.)

10. Grandaddy: Sumday
An anthem to something or other. If the robot’s laments don’t do it for you, surely the saccharine-sad melodies will.

11. The Shins: Chutes Too Narrow
This is the smartest album I’ve ever heard, and I even listened to Stephen Hawking’s book on tape once. Plus, it don’t hurt that lead singer James Mercer is a total dreamboat!

12. The New Pornographers: Electric Version
Everybody I’ve played this for absolutely loves it. Seriously. It’s catchier than Hep A. (Yikes! That’s not very Christmasy.)

13. Calla: Televise
The best of Interpol’s tourmates, Calla somehow manages to simultaneously rock and lull. The title track is the most awesome song of the year.

14. The Wrens: The Meadowlands
The Wrens came back from the grave (R.I.P. 1996) to put out an emo album. A good emo album. A really good emo album. Who would’ve thought?

15. Clearlake: Cedars
British croon? Check. Social commentary? Check. Cocteau Twins’ bassist Simon Raymonde on the boards? Check. What more do you people want? Bloody Yanks.

16. The Unicorns: Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone?
This album’s got more hooks than a flailing local video rental shop that got a little too excited about Steven Spielberg’s 1991 film starring Dustin Hoffmann and Robin Williams.

17. George: The Magic Lantern
See No. 8, only replace French with British, and the Web site with www.amazon.co.uk. Simply gorgeous.

18. Constantines: Shine a Light
Canadian rockers pit Bruce Springsteen’s voice against Fugazi’s rhythm section to create a sound that’s wholly pan-American. (Thievin’ Canucks.)

19. Radiohead: Hail to the Thief
OK, they’re not so underground really at all, but the government made me put this here because Radiohead is like, um, the most important band in the world. Seriously, even if you already have it, buy it again…for the first time.

20. Chris Clark: Empty the Bones of You
Haunting holiday electronica a la Autechre or Aphex Twin, only more cohesive. And unlike that pansy Richard James, Chris Clark isn’t afraid to record under his birth name.
brent@red-mag.com