Thursday June 26

Nick at Nite
At first I thought Melissa Joan Hart was coming to town to reprise her role as Clarissa on Nickelodeon’s “Clarissa Explains it All.” It turns out that it’s actually Carissa’s (no L) Weird, an indie rock group from Seattle whose sound rests upon a slow, moaning violin. The band will play with local acts The Downers and once-duo, now-trio Coyote Hoods. The latter features members of The Red Bennies and Optimus Prime, so it’s safe to assume they know how to rock…but will they? Find out at the Urban Lounge (but leave your Sabrina the Teenage Witch posters at home), 241 S. 500 East.

Friday June 27
Eat a Dick!
I like Henry Rollins. The man of steel kicked off his career as part of one of America’s most influential hardcore punk bands. Then Black Flag broke up and Henry scuttled off on his own. The solo gig works when he’s demonstrating masterful wit through spoken word, but his post-Flag music leaves much to be desired. Thankfully, local rockers Form of Rocket will be on hand to supply a much-needed dose of shit-your-pants scream-core. Come support your local rockers.

Tower Midnight Movie: “Fight Club”
RED’s Jeremy Mathews aptly realizes that David Fincher’s “Fight Club” is all style and no substance and doesn’t really have anything to say. Many a hip folk, however, think it’s brilliant just because it’s trying to be about something and is very well made. Apparently society is making men reclaim their manhood through violence, which relates back to commercialism and splicing porn into cartoons…Whatever. It’s better than “Friday the 13th,” which played two weeks ago also as part of the Tower Theatre’s (876 E. 900 South) Midnight Movie Series, every Friday and Saturday at mid—er, 11:59 p.m (for accuracy in the days).

Drink of the Week
In honor of the release of “Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle,” we provide you with a beverage to imbibe as you watch three women mistake showing skin for kicking ass.
Cheap Whore
- 1 part(s) Vodka
- 1 part(s) Beer
- 1 part(s) Chocolate Milk

Directions/Comments: Cheap and gross, but will screw you hard.

Coco Montoya is Not a Woman
This drummer-turned-blues guitarist has played with such legendary icons as Albert Collins and John Mayall. His stint with The Bluesbreakers came after Mayall watched Montoya execute a stellar live rendition of “All Your Love.” Years of experience have now turned him into a legend in his own right. Come see what all of the fuss is about when he comes to the Zephyr, 301 W. South Temple.

Saturday June 28
Rockin’ the Suburbs
And the winner for most awkward headline promoting a mayor re-elect campaign: “ROCK-y ‘n’ Roll.” Oh well. Mayor Rocky Anderson does have a lot of other things going for him, so we’ll excuse the cheesy PR. Plus, the event sounds promising: plenty of local bands, food and beverages, and games galore. And did we mention that it’s free? That way, you can feel comfortable attending whether you want to support the hip politician or would rather “Say Hola.” Spend the day at the Gallivan Center, 239 S. Main Street. The event runs 1 to 11 p.m.

Sunday June 29
Support Your Local Veterinarian
Upon his initial arrival to Salt Lake, Scott Evans devised a way to help vegetarians locate good places to eat meat-free while simultaneously supporting local businesses. The result was the Vegetarian Dining Guide, a small booklet that highlighted relatively obscure restaurants that might have otherwise remain unnoticed. Since then, places have closed and others opened, thus necessitating an updated version. In order to fund a third incarnation of his creation, Evans has organized a benefit concert featuring such choice acts as Redd Tape, I Am Electric and DJ Shanty, among others. The event will also include giveaways from Bangkok Thai and Sage’s Cafe, as well as a climbing/yoga pass to The Front for the first 200 fundraiser attendees. Come rock out whether you prefer tofu or bloody-rare steak. It goes down at 8 p.m at the Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East.

Rude Awakening
Beehive and the Barracudas is not some wacky morning radio team, but rather a rock-and-roll band from San Diego featuring members of Rocket From the Crypt, Red Aunts, Tanner and The Hot Snakes. The group comes to town in support of its new LP In Black Love. Get stung at Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West.

Just Another Singer-Songwriter?
Robert Earl Keen’s lifelong interest in writing found a musical outlet at Texas A&M, where he picked up a guitar and started channeling poetry into song. Since then he’s honed his skills, collaborated with Lyle Lovett and been thematically grouped with Nanci Griffith, Emmylou Harris and Willie Nelson. Keen performs as part of the Red Butte Garden’s Summer Concert Series, 300 Wakara Way. Gates open at 5:30 p.m, show starts at 7 p.m.

Monday June 30
Hee Hee…Musselwhite
Charlie Musselwhite’s keen ability to knock out a tune on the harmonica has helped earn him status as one of the forerunners of the ‘60s “white blues movement.” The self-taught musician stays true to the Memphis blues, invoking its roots at each of his heartfelt performances. See how authentic he really is at the Dead Goat Saloon, 119 S. West Temple.

Tuesday July 1
RED Book Club
Go to Barnes & Noble in the Gateway and harass employee Eryn Green until he provides you with an adequate recommendation for your novel of the week. It really is good for you. If you need more encouragement, take this equation of wisdom: Creative Insight + Cunning Wit = Damn Sexy.

Wednesday July 2
Shagadelic!
Don your best black suit, comb your hair into a mop and join the rest of Salt Lake City’s freaky mods at Ready! Steady! Go! All the Brit Pop you can handle in one night. It’s hipster heaven. Grab your Vespa and motor over to the Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East.

Thursday July 3
Hey, where’s Brian Wilson?
Supposedly Brian Wilson is set to perform the legendary and incomplete Beach Boys Smile album (a three-decades-old legend) this summer while the rest of The Beach Boys (meaning Mike Love and four non-original members to whom he owes favors) hit up county fairs and water parks marauding as a band that no longer exists. The latter group will attempt to re-capture the magic at the Usana Amphitheater. Call Ticketmaster for more details. Or not.

Friday July 4
Party Like It’s 1776
“OK, guys, one more thing. Hey, this summer when you're being inundated with all this bi-centennial, Fourth of July, bru-ha-ha, just remember what you're celebrating. That's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning aristocratic white males didn’t want to pay their taxes.”
With that in mind, go ahead and visit any public park near dusk for a display of legal fireworks (or any parking lot for displays of an illegal nature). My favorite is the snake. My how stealthily the charcoal slithers!

Saturday July 5
Get Your Grub On
Follow up Independence Day as you would any other traditional holiday: by stuffing yourself silly! Gorge yourself on offerings from some of Utah’s best restaurants. Also, be sure to flaunt your indulgence in front of John Popper, the lead vocalist for Blues Traveler who miraculously shed more than 200 pounds sometime between the band’s heyday and its current status headlining the 4th Annual Bite of Salt Lake. Will power is an amazing thing. Don’t let it stop you from coming to the Gallivan Center, 239 South Main. The event runs 11 a.m to 11 p.m, and continues on Sunday, 11 to 7 p.m. Blues Traveler plays on Saturday at 8 p.m.

Sunday July 6
Sunday Sinema
SLUG Mag’s Sunday Sinema Series presents “River’s Edge,” a heartwarming romantic comedy about a boy who valiantly defends his mama’s name by killing his girl and subsequently boasting by presenting the body to his buddies. Applaud like mad or voice your disgust at Brewvies, 677 S. 200 West.

Monday July 7
Bring Sixer a Cold One
Virginia-bred punk outfit Sixer came up with its name during some off time on the beach. The members’ love of cheap beer nearly rivals their devotion to raucous rawk. The B.Y.O. Records band will play the Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East.

Tuesday July 8
Bring On the Brigade!
Les Claypool is a busy man. The insanely talented Primus bassist splits his time between not one, not two, but four side projects, all with quirky, animal-related monikers. Claypool’s Salt Lake appearance will feature his Frog Brigade (a rotating list of equally skilled musicians). The group will bring its funky, jam-band sound to Bricks, 579 W. 200 South.

Whatever Happened To...?
Alien Ant Farm—proving false the idea that one cool Michael Jackson cover will earn you a permanent position on Billboard’s Top 20. Or even on regular rotation on your friendly Clear Channel-operated radio station. Maybe the downtime has done the members of this Southern California alt-metal quartet some good. Perhaps they reflected upon the quality of their music and decided to write some innovative tunes. Find out whether they’re worth reviving at DV8, 115 S. West Temple.

Wednesday July 9
Don’t Mess With Texas
The members of the Dixie Chicks caused quite a stir with their bold opposition to Bush and the War in Iraq. Although the subsequent backlash led former fans to burn their signed copies of Wide Open Spaces, previously disinterested individuals were suddenly clamoring to support acts of free speech. If you fall into the latter category (or simply dig sweet harmonies and fiddles), go check out the musicians referred to by good ol’ boy Rev. Jerry Falwell as the “three French hens.” Michelle Branch will also be on hand to prove that she is not, in fact, Vanessa Carlton.
Come raise some hell Texas-style at the Delta Center, 301 W. South Temple.