f I have to hear one more poem about an unrequited crush or being free like a bird, I just might die. In fact, I’d rather lick a toilet seat than have to listen to that drivel. Perhaps I’m being a tad harsh and I know that I’m discounting poetic ideals of what is true and what is beautiful, but I’ve heard my share of bad poetry.

Poetry readings can be a rather tricky activity. It’s usually hit or miss. But if you know the right readings to attend, they can be quite moving.

I recently attended a reading of what I consider bad poetry. What makes a bad poetry reading? A pious atmosphere containing the exquisite sensitivities of a church meeting. There is an attitude of arty pretension, which in my opinion is the worst type of pretension imaginable. It’s as if the attitude is more important than the art. This type of reading is to be avoided at any cost unless for some reason you want to masochistically suffer from numb-ass syndrome. These are the sorts of readings at which people who dabble in poetry, not people who write poetry, attend.

The number one giveaway that you’re at a bad poetry reading is what I like to call Poet Voice. I define Poet Voice (or PV if you need to discuss it in code so as not to offend anyone) as a sort of monotone droning, giving every word the same accent and ignoring punctuation. It’s like listening to an air conditioner.

Another irksome thing you might find is a series of introductions rather than a series of poems. In other words, if the poet spends more time delivering drawn-out effusions about how their works suddenly came to them near a babbling brook, you should politely get up, pretend you have to use the bathroom and run home to your favorite collection of poems and remind yourself what good poetry is.

Mind you, I don’t wish to be a complete nay-sayer. Not all poetry readings leave a bad aftertaste.

In fact, a good reading can be very enriching. The best poetry readings come from poets that have a work that they are bursting to deliver and they deliver it as if they are using an instrument rather than a voice. There is a congruent connection between reader/poet and his or her audience. A good reader will give the right word a meaningful inflection or tone. He or she will add a sense of space and allow the audience to digest an image before moving on to the next.

Good poetry is good because it is true. When you attend something that is based upon a poet’s idea of truth it can be bad, but if you’re lucky to hear words that are as tangible as the poet’s original experience, it can be transcendent.
hayley@red-mag.com