SEPTEMBER 18, 2003
Opening This Weekend
By Jeremy Mathews

“Anything Else”
3 reels
(See Review)

“The Bread, My Sweet”
Panorama Entertainment
Not rated
Opening at Madstone Theaters
(Not reviewed)

Writer/director Melissa Martin’s ethnic romance was a huge hit in Pittsburgh, where it was filmed, and its company has slowly been trying to turn it into a “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”-level hit nationwide. Scott Baio stars as a corporate worker who acquires companies and fires employees—while he’s not operating his small pastry shop. Then romance starts when he tracks down the upstairs landlords’ daughter, who has disappeared and joined the Peace Corps.

“Cold Creek Manor”
Touchstone Pictures
Rated R
(Not reviewed)

Mike Figgis—usually known for arty films like “Leaving Las Vegas” and this year’s “Hotel”—teams up with Sharon Stone and Dennis Quaid for a Hollywood thriller. Judging by the trailer, the film mostly consists of people talking about how stuff “happened at Cold Creek Manor.” Spooky.

  Cuba Gooding Jr.'s and Beyonce Knowles's faces nearly fall off from too much smiling.

“The Fighting Temptations”
Paramount Pictures
Rated PG-13
(Not reviewed)

Miss the good ol’ days of films about people who have to do something for inheritance due to a clause in a dead relative’s will? Look no further than “The Fighting Temptations” with Cuba Gooding, Jr. His dead aunt says that to get her money, he has to head up a successful gospel choir, get Beyoncé Knowles to join and fall in love with her—I mean, win a competition.

“The Legend of Suriyothai”
Sony Pictures Classics
Rated R
Opening at the Tower
(Not reviewed)

Writer/director Chatrichalerm Yukol offers a Thai-language epic about a famous 16th-century Queen (named Suriyothai) who died defending King Mahachakrapat. It follows her life from age 15 and features epic battles. I hope no one had to read this out loud.

“The Magdalene Sisters”
Miramax Pictures
Rated R
3.5 reels
(Oops! See last issue’s review on

“Princess Blade”
ADV Films
Rated R
Opening at Madstone Theaters

Based on a Japanese comic book, this action film has fire during its opening titles. You can’t go wrong there. Rebels are fighting to overthrow a futuristic Japanese monarchy, but the film is reportedly all showy action.

  Which is cuter: Haley Joel Osment or the puppy? Discuss on the forum.

“Secondhand Lions”
New Line Cinema
Rated PG

It may be silly and overly sentimental, but “Second Hand Lions” succeeds in its quest to break the hearts of family filmgoers. Maybe the performances from the three lead actors help it go down. The film follows the sentimental coming-of-age structure about a summer after which nothing will be the same.
Haley Joel Osment plays a young boy with a crappy mother who lies to him and ditches him with his two great-uncles for the summer, urging him to try to find their reported fortunes. Kiss-ass relatives visit in an attempt to get the inheritance, and Osment’s character pleases them by not caring about the money, even suggesting that they spend some of it since it’s sitting about.

Michael Caine and Robert Duvall play the two old men nicely, and the boy begins to learn about their past, when they fought in wars, defended themselves against sheiks and fell in love—all in matinee-double-feature style. It’s a call to respect old people because they’ve been on dandy adventures and are nice. And if that’s the kind of film you want to see, this is as good as any of them.

“Señorita Extraviada”
Balcony Releasing
Not Rated
Opening at Madstone Theaters
(Not reviewed)

Lourdes Portillo’s political documentary examines the disappearances of young women from factories on the U.S.-Mexico border.

“Stone Reader”
Jet Films
Not Rated
Opening at Madstone Theaters
(Not reviewed)

Mark Moskowitz’s “Stone Reader” documents the director’s quest to find the author of a book he really liked. Really liked. In fact, he thinks it’s a masterpiece and wants to find out what happened to the author, Dow Mossman, who wrote The Stones of Summer in 1972 and disappeared. Relive the adventure.

3 reels
(See review)

2.5 reels
(See review)

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  RED herring!  



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