Cheerleader music has been on the rise as of late, As legend has it, once upon a time in a fantastical place called “China,” there were all these “Buddhist monks” who apparently liked to sit around and repeat chants to one another. All the time. I guess it’s kind of like how they’re always showing “Yes, Dear” reruns. That’s all these “monks” would ever do. I guess they found it soothing or something, like back-to-back episodes of “Yes, Dear” after a long, hard day at work.

Now you’re probably wondering, why all the hubbub about these so-called “monks?” What happened on “Yes, Dear” last night? And why aren’t I talking about it at length?

So there’s this place called “modern China.” Two guys from there named Christiaan Virant and Zhang Jian liked to call themselves FM3. Now normally these guys would be content to play their unique brand of lightly Eastern-influenced ambient music and release it in conventional formats—you know, CDs, vinyl and the like. But one day, FM3 got the idea to take a cue from the “monks” and make a small box that could emit not chants, but nine loops of ambient music that could be repeated ad nauseam. Sort of like an iPod with an immutable playlist—the voice of Buddha himself.

So how has this box been received so far? Let’s see. Brian Eno bought eight of them. Richard Chartier bought four. The guys from Monolake and Radian bought 14 between them. Alan Bishop of the Sun City Girls bought 24. And then there’s me. Yeah, I bought one too. So what do I think of it? What do you think this is, some sort of a review? What’s that? It is? Oh. All right:

The idea: A perfect 10. This is just the sort of revolutionary thinking we need to push music into the new millennium and to show those fat cats at Apple that having Bono sign our electronic apparatuses just isn’t going to cut it anymore.

The music: 8.0. Very soothing. Has a slightly different feel from most other ambient music. Though some may complain that when you take the loops at face value, you’re only looking at a little over three minutes of unique music. Also, it might have helped to put a few beats in the mix.

The box itself: 6.0. I don’t know if this will be typical of all the boxes, but mine is a bit sensitive to jostling with the headphone jack, and at times emits some less-than-soothing cracks and fizzles when toggling between loops. Also, the integrated speaker doesn’t appear to work, as was promised. Sorry to get all Consumer Reports on you, but I’m just telling it like it is, is all.

In conclusion, though there is some room for improvement (mostly technical in nature), this is a great idea for a listening device that will hopefully be explored and fleshed out more in the future. As it stands, the Buddha Machine is a highly novel and collectible item that is a must-have for anyone with a serious interest in ambient music.

brent[at]saltshakermagazine.com